Wednesday, July 13, 2005

I can't pick one...

One of my managers is a minister. He doesn't have a church, so he considers our team to be his "flock". Every week he tacks on a homily to the end of the agenda for the weekly staff meeting. The agenda that goes out not only to our internal team, but also to our clients.

Following are some summaries of the two most hideous:

1. PG-13 and R rated movies are like "dog poop brownies" ("Now when this father's kids want to do something or see something they shouldn't, he merely asks them if they would like some of his special dog poop brownies -- and they never ask about it again.")

2. "Help Is Sometimes A Deterrent". This wonderful bit of word-smithing came out for the meeting after a shit-bomb that we had warned all our managers about months in advance finally went off. The tag line in that little beauty? "Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we went through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us."

Yeah. Thanks. Next time, maybe you'll listen to us. (uh, that would be a "no.")

10 comments:

Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

Those go out to CLIENTS? Ack.

Friday Mom said...

Ugh......

Lucy Tartan said...

Bleagh. Repulsive.

liz said...

And those are the ones that aren't talking about why God created mothers.

Mr. Spock said...

That which does not kill us, makes it all seem longer.

Moreena said...

I bet you could start an entirely new snarky blog on these. Only I don't know if that might be a career jeopardizer, so maybe not.

Do you have a Menard's in your area? Have you ever noticed that they also print these little one line homilies at the bottom of every page of their circulars? I have seriously considered a snark blog based on those babies. I just need an outlet for my sarcasm, as I am currently drowning in my own earnestness.

Andrea said...

You know, I'd be willing to share some of my obstacles with him. I'd hate to think he was being unduly crippled by not having full enjoyment of every possible obstacle. Tell you what. You ask him, and let me know what he says. I'll fed-ex him my insomnia at the earliest opportunity.

Julie said...

On the other hand, dog poop brownies sound very effective. I think I'm gonna appropriate that one.

liz said...

Julie: I'll email you the dog poop one in it's entirety.

It's really hideous.

Running2Ks said...

Eeeeew. It is that dog poop brownie one that is rattling around in my head now.